Jealousy Monster

Interesting Daily Prompt: Green-Eyed Monster

I wouldn’t say I’m jealous of a particular someone in my life. I would say deep down in my heart, secretly, I’m jealous of groups of people.

The Devil in Me says:

Firstly, those who are smarty pants. There’s always times when people look up to you and say “Hey, you are so smart!”. But there’s also times when you feel that you have nothing but that pea-sized brain, just cause of that smarter person in class or at work. There’s always someone above you, making you feel demoralized, and causing you to ask yourself “Why am I not as smart as him/her?”, “Why am I born like this?”.

Secondly, those who are prettier and slimmer! I share the same sentiments as girls out there feeling plump. It’s hard to not feel sad, and outcast due to the size. When you walk out of the door, stroll down the streets, you see petite, petite, petite, and PETITE girls. Imagine you were stuffing cheese balls in your mouth as you see them walk by your side. Wow, being slightly fatter in every way, ย you will definitely put down those cheese balls and feel guilty for still eating like nobody’s business despite the size.

Lastly, the sociable people. It’s not like I’m anti-social or whatsoever. It’s just that I’m less sociable compared to others. I’m not good at words, I’m not good at making new friends, and getting to know people. I feel that sincerity is getting lower as we grow older. We socialize just cause we need to get benefits out of people. That’s often the initial intention.

The Angel in Me says:

Firstly, everyone is born unique in their own ways, as far as I choose to believe. Hence, we shouldn’t question ourselves on why we are born so unequally from the others. We probably have things or qualities which they don’t have, but we don’t see it. Being smart could be in the genes, but it could also be built upon hard work. As long as there’s a will, there’s a way. Let them be the one to ask the question next time round “Why am I not as smart as him/her?” and not you.

Secondly, there’s two ways to see this matter. Being plump is a sign of happiness, you’re happy with your life and you’re living it fine. So just live with it if it doesn’t affect you at all. But if being plump poses as a health hazard, then you should be going for a regular exercise and keeping fit and watch what you eat. Pure admiration and jealousy would not bring you anywhere, action does.

Lastly, just bear in mind, try harder and you will find sincerity in the human kind. It’s not completely lost in everyone, you can definitely find someone who’s sincere in finding a friend not for a benefit. Do it not for the sake of gaining benefit out of new friends, but for the sake of a merrier life. The more we get together, the merrier it will be.

I guess I’m a complicated person deep within, but I’m not yet to the extreme of having a split personality here. Just trying to portray my thoughts in a neater way. Despite being a jealousy monster in every way, I tend to strike a balance between admiration and jealousy, and keeping myself on a safe track of thoughts.

P.S I put my F21-haul post on hold again. :/


5 thoughts on “Jealousy Monster

  1. Pingback: The Green Eyed Monster | Randomlyabstract's Blog

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